5 ways to get the respect you deserve in every meeting you run

1. Agree ways of working and behaving for every meeting
2. Keep the agenda narrow to 2-3 topics only
3. Keep the attendee list as small as possible
4. When people behave badly and refuse to change, remove them from the attendee list (and get instant respect from everyone else)
5. Ask for feedback

Want more?  Watch the back story by clicking the linked picture below or continue reading below.

Want to get ahead of the pack and stand in your power? Want to lead your pack and get that promotion this year? Then book a complimentary consult with me today to get started. 

The backstory:
I was recently running a series of meetings last year where behaviours were less than ideal. These included people talking over each other, not listening to each other, not respecting my role as chair, not respecting people who were presenting — so just talking over, interrupting, asking questions at the wrong time, making personal attacks, being very competitive, being very negative, and just outright rude behaviours.

As much as I could have blamed the people  for their “bad behaviours”  I took responsibility as the chair and really looked at what I could control within the meeting.

Why were things going so wrong?

What was contributing to the behaviours?

What had happened is that over many months the agenda had become bloated. The invite list had tripled and the attendees really had a different understanding what the meeting was for compared to myself or the original members of the meeting. This meant people came in confused, felt unheard, felt that their issues were undervalued. Because they weren’t given space on the agenda  they would fight to create that space.

So, I just took a step back and I said, “Well, I have to address these issues.”

What I did next is I relaunched the meeting and reframed the agenda of the meeting to be much narrower and clearer. I reduced the number of topics and agenda items from 12 to 3.   Set really strict times for each agenda item. And allowed specific time for Q & A and discussion and we would go around the room to make sure that everyone was heard and prompt them to ask questions or to get feedback.

So the meeting went from something that was very loose to something super-structured. And I did sort of hesitate a little bit on that, thinking that that was going to be too structured. I also reduced the invite list by about 70%.  And, obviously, that was controversial because some people didn’t want to be left out of the meeting. But for me the point of the meeting was to achieve certain objectives for which only certain people needed to attend to do so.

I also went and spoke individually to some of the people in the meeting and asked for their support for my role as chair and also to support better behaviours in the meeting of each other and themselves. I asked for respect when people were speaking, rather than talking over them and bringing up old war stories to attack people with.

Old stories don’t let us create a new story.

The most powerful thing I did was relaunch the forum and complete an exercise in that first forum on how do we want to feel and make others feel in our meeting. That really was about instilling responsibility for behaviour amongst everyone, not just myself as a chair or the leaders in the room but everyone who was attending.

The impact of these actions was really to take a ramshackle, aggressive meeting, where people felt anxious attending it, to a well run, respectful, enjoyable, easy meeting that people wanted to attend, an easy meeting for me to run, and a very easy meeting for people to speak up in.

And I had feedback from people saying, “I was beginning to feel anxious coming to that meeting, and now I feel like I really want to go to that meeting. And I’m not worried any more.”

Don’t be afraid to relaunch a meeting. Don’t be afraid to take people out of the meeting if they’re no longer suitable to attend, and the other thing I would say is take the time to discuss what behaviours you want in the meeting.

This is a great way to make everyone feel included, make everyone part of the story of that meeting, and also to take the temperature down if things are out of control.

I hope you found this really useful. My name is Beatrice Crocker, and I am the founder and lead coach of I’m Ready Now! Coaching and I am an executive coach that works with  women who work in traditionally male dominated fields or have reached that job level where there are very few women in the peer group.

I want you to find more purpose, meaning, leadership and growth in your career. I’m passionate about helping women to be seen living their true purpose and who want to radiantly embrace their lives, find more meaning, purpose, and growth in their career.

If you’d like to work with me, book a complimentary consult today to get started.   

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Beatrice’s Equality Day Dreams #5 – Making an important career decision is so easy

Can I be honest with you? I’m beginning to think my day dreams maybe a bit cynical.  When I read over this day dream that I wrote 5 months ago, it was part of a list of things I wish the workplace was vs wasn’t.

It shouldn’t be a dream that we are supported and progression is easy if we are ambitious and competent.  While writing my book and starting my life coaching business, every woman I have spoken to has talked about the challenge of finding out information on how to progress.

At work, a colleague came up to me (after reading my blog) and admitted she didn’t know that she was supposed to ask.  She has recently started working in Australia and asking wasn’t the custom in her previous country and in fact it might even have been deemed rude to ask.  People progressed once they met a benchmark and their manager would ask if they wanted to go up a level or take on a new role.

If you’re a manager, how transparent is it to your team how they progress? Are you over looking someone because they haven’t told you what they are interested in?  And, are you being overlooked because you are not asking?

One more story, recently a senior manager let me know that a role was available in his team and talked me through a series of names and I gave my thoughts.   I added an extra name to the list and we both agreed she’d be great for the role if she was interested.  In my gut, I thought she probably wasn’t.   Later, I asked her if she would be and let her know the role was available.  She surprised me by saying she was interested. So I said, “call him NOW and let him know NOW”.  She waited 5 days to speak to him (after another prompt from myself) and she missed out on the role.   The senior manager made a decision in 3 days.

If you hear of a role and you are interested, let the hiring manager know  straight away.  Don’t hesitate or let other work get in the way.

Just ask.

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“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together”

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together”

When things are difficult, I often find it is because I am heading in the wrong direction.

Maybe I am pushing too hard to make a relationship something more than it can be, maybe my expectations are not realistic for the work I have asked to be performed, maybe I just thought one way of doing things was better than another and I was wrong.

Being able to pivot, change course and accept that there are better paths available to us, can make us into a better boss, friend, colleague, partner and neighbour.

What have you needed to pivot on lately to find a better path?
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Beatrice’s Equality Day Dreams #3 – they just asked me what job I wanted!

“The leadership team called me into their management meeting and said there were 3 roles available and I could pick anyone of them! I mean that was a really hard decision”

Said no women ever!

Am I right ?

But wouldn’t it be awesome if it happened.

For this to occur, a management team would need to assess people on :

  • their work performed,
  • make hiring decisions as a group and in a transparent manner,
  • the company would be in a high growth phase and have lots of new roles on offer,
  • the culture would be open and inclusive (not paternal and closed),
  • individual choice would be valued and there would be a lack of a reward systems in place for people feeling ‘owed’ positions (I’m not sure what the opposite of that be – something like people progress and are rewarded on company wide performance and objective measures, maybe?)

Now I’d love to hear from you, would you love this to happen and (is it possible) has this ever happened to you ?

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How to get a YES when you ask for promotion

I used to wait to be asked, now I ask to be promoted.  This has taken a huge mental and skill shift to take this approach. Some people around you may say this lacks integrity but how is waiting to be ‘discovered’ and holding yourself back, lacking integrity ?

People who want a recording contract – perform, compete on a talent show, run YouTube channels and busk.

People wanting a promotion do not wait, they stand out and they ask.

Timing

Ask when promotion, new jobs and opportunities are available. If there is a lull in available jobs, practice the following skills and techniques to boost your chance of the being no. 1 pick when jobs do come up again.

Credibility

Know your business case and know your ask  and work on making this visible to the ‘powers that be’.

Be the Obvious Choice

The right role is the easiest role – apply for and show interest in the roles that most easily match your ambition, skill sets and connections.

Visibility

Make your work visible and in demand (I will write more on this next month but for now, I have included some tips at the end of this post).

We want you!

Make your future leadership team and peers want you on their team!!

You know the ‘vibe’ is good when you start hearing things from senior management like:

“How do I find the right role for you, so you say yes”

“I NEED you on my team”

“We’re so glad you’re here”

“You’re wasted in that role, you should be doing XYZ role”

“They really have great THINGS to say about you”

Advocate

Find someone to advocate for you who is on hiring and promotion panels. This person could be influential with a potential sponsor or may hire directly as well.

In a hiring decision, who will recommend you if asked to provide an opinion on you?

Sponsor

Find someone that you would like to work for and talk to them about your ambitions. Apply for roles working with them and keep yourself and your work visible to this potential sponsor.

Who wants you on their team right now?

Influence

Make your ambition visible and known to people who are influential with hiring managers but may not be in formal positions of power. Talk through your business case and pitch and ask them for advice. Ask for help to gain a promotion.

What role do people see you in next?

Increase your visibility through celebration!

Celebrate successes and draw people into your success.

Celebrate team successes frequently and invite advocates and sponsors to these events.

Create a winning vibe !

Persevere!

Keep asking.

Keep asking.

Keep asking.

Repeat until you have it! (And then start working towards your next one!!)

 

Now I’d love to hear from you, how have you got a YES when you’ve asked for promotion ?

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Do you want to get a promotion ? Here’s how…

Asking for a promotion can be super scary.

Why?

Because you will be making it very clear and very public that you are ambitious, have career goals and are prepared to go for them.

This can feel and be very exposing.

This is your opportunity to showcase your skills and lay the foundation for career progression at your current employer.

Got for it!

And, to help you go for it, here is my tried and very personally tested advice for getting that promotion time and time again!

Be Clear On Your Ask

  • Know which roles you are interested in
  • Know how much money you want in the form of salary and incentives
  • Know your why – why are you the right person to be promoted, what are your skills and what do you have to offer (have your sales pitch ready)
  • Know what you want to achieve in the new role for your company, business area and yourself
  • Know how you would achieve these things
  • Also, have a list of any working arrangements that you need considered and accomodated in the new role (i.e.: work from home, start times, limits on travel, if any etc)

Know Who To Ask

In I’m Ready Now! I wrote about how to identify and influence the key decision makers.
Make sure you know who can make decisions on promotion (this is not always your boss) and when they can make these decisions.

Know When to Ask

Ask for promotion when :

  1. You have already talked through your business case with your immediate boss and any key decision makers
  2. Achieved any action items that were asked for as part of your business case discussion
  3. Have held a discussion on the value you can bring to the new role
  4. You have spoken and gained advice from at least 30% of the leadership team you want to belong to, and
  5. Made your work visible to that leadership team

Other great times to ask are :

  • when you’ve delivered a big win for your company
  • when a new job becomes available due to a re-org
  • when someone departs a role unexpectedly

What will you do if you get a YES?

Have a celebration plan in place and, have a business plan in place that you can pick up and run with in your new role.

Always make sure to celebrate a promotion (even it feels like something that should have happened ages ago) and appreciate yourself for the increase wealth, autonomy and freedom a new role will bring you both professionally and personally.

What will you do if you get a NO?

Have a ‘No’ plan in place and a timeframe for getting to YES already determined.

Don’t stay too long in a role going no where.

Only you can determine how long is ‘too long’.

By having a plan in place BEFORE your discussion you won’t get sidetracked by the knock to confidence that a NO can have.

This plan will increase your chances of keeping your career on track and seeing knock backs as bumps a long the road not road blocks

Now I’d love to hear from you!
What is the best tip you’ve ever received for getting ahead and getting that promotion ?
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Why I wrote ‘I’m Ready Now!’

I’m Ready Now! is available to purchase for Kindle and Kindle Reader on Amazon.

I always thought keeping a well run, no-surprise team with happy staff members was the way to progress in my career.

All it was, was the way to keep my job.

All I looked was competent.

Without anyone outside my boss knowing my achievements, I never got offered roles. I always had to ask for an opportunity.  Yet, I could see people around me being offered roles. How did that happen? Why were they being offered a role and I wasn’t?

So, I started to take a different approach.

I began to think of myself as my own PR Manager.

I began to talk openly about my challenges, ask for guidance, talk about my successes and talk about what I’d like to do. I looked for opportunities to create my own role or tweak my role to what I wanted to do and to play to my strengths.

When opportunities are presented I now have a ‘just say yes’ approach and work it out later.

Earlier in my career, I used to change jobs when a difficult situation seemed like an immovable blocker. Usually just when support was gathering around me.

To get to the other side of big problems demonstrates perseverance, courage and aptitude. It also demonstrates to senior leaders that you are able to ask for help and you’re able to learn and stick at it – you don’t let yourself or your team drown.

It takes time to build credibility.

And, there have been times I’ve needed to sound the alarm and ask for help and say things like ‘I’m overwhelmed’.

This has not led to the death of my career.

The important thing I’ve learnt is that  sometimes the philosophy of ‘I can do it on my own’ is not useful in the workplace.

Independence is great, isolation is not.

Be open to support. Everyone has troubles in the workplace – the crazy project, the poor performer, the bully to deal with.

I’ve learnt that by being patient, staying calm (mostly) and waiting things out (with limits) has led to greater support and acceptance of who I am and how I am as a leader.

If I can do this in a senior role in IT, you can too.

This is why I wrote ‘I’m Ready Now!’ to help provide a set of activities to build up your confidence, sense of direction and deliberately plan out your next promotion.

Subscribe to get the free My Promotion Plan and tool to help plan out your next promotion today!

And, to grab a copy of I’m Ready Now go to Amazon to purchase today!

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I’m Ready Now !

Beatrice Crocker
Beatrice Crocker

Want a promotion ?

Keeping asking for opportunities and not getting anywhere or worse getting the wrong ones ?

Too good in your current role to be ‘allowed’ to move up ?

Completed all the training, got great feedback, ticked every box but told ‘you’re not ready yet’?

If you answered ‘Yes’ to any of these questions, then this book is for you. Full of practical strategies, how to guides and step by step instructions on how to gain a promotion and move mountains without ever having to ‘tick’ a box again.

Dubious?

This book isn’t about fixing you. Nice girls can get the corner office and you need the right strategy to get there.

Diagnose the real reason for not getting that promotion and find out ways for overcoming, getting around or marching straight through obstacles to your next promotion.

No statistics, no graphs, just step by step instructions to help you work out the best way to get a promotion quickly.

Want that promotion now? Read this book!

Available via Amazon Kindle

For additional content and blog posts, please see my personal website at beatricecrocker.com

 

 

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